A guest list for your wedding – perhaps you already know who you’d like to invite, but for most people, it’s no easy feat. Compiling a guest list for your wedding often proves to be a challenge. Can you simply leave out that one colleague with whom you have no relationship? Or do you invite everyone just to keep the peace? What if your favourite uncles are fighting with each other? And then there's your partner, who might have a different idea about the number of guests. Coming up with a guest list can be quite stressful, but with our tips & tricks, creating a wedding guest list will be a lot easier!
Drafting up your wedding guest list
Start by making a list of everyone you would like to invite to your wedding. Think carefully about where you want these wedding guests to be; only during the day at the ceremony, in the evening at the party, or do you want the guests to be present during both? It’s useful to divide this list into categories: family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. Mark the names that you’re 100% sure to invite green, so that it’s clear to you and your partner that these people will definitely be there on your special day. Do you have some names on your list that you’re doubting about? Mark these names orange so you can easily filter out the ones you’re still unsure of. Have your partner make a separate list with their names so that you both have a clear overview of your desired guests!
Don’t forget to identify the guests you absolutely do NOT want to see at your wedding. Perhaps there's a not-so-nice aunt you haven't spoken to in years, or your cousin insists that her ex-husband won't be invited. Either way, it's a good idea to think about this. Mark these names red on a separate list and give it to your Master of Ceremonies so that they are also aware of the guests you are less than enthusiastic about.
A tip is to keep track of your wedding guest list in Excel or Word so you can easily make adjustments and have a good overview.
Crossing off from the guest list
Now that you have a first overview with colour coordinated names of the guest list, it’s important to make some clear choices now. Do you already have a wedding location in mind? Most wedding venues have room for a maximum number of wedding guests. If you have 200 guests on your list and there’s only room for 150, it will be very difficult. Keep this in mind! You and your partner should also think about the maximum number of guests you would like to have at your wedding. The average number of guests at a wedding is 120... and that’s quite a number! Perhaps you’re thinking, the more the better, but don't forget that all your guests will want to talk to you on this day, and with many guests, you might not have enough time for everyone. In addition, many venues charge separate amounts for day and evening guests. Take this into account so that the costs remain within budget.
Once you and your partner have decided on a maximum number of guests, the crossing off can begin. Keep your list and your partner's list next to each other, and make a new guest list with the names that you both definitely want to invite. Has your partner marked a name green that you would rather not see? Write these names down again in orange, plus the names you're both still unsure about. You may find it hard to cross out guests, or you may even feel mean, but remember that it's your special day. So feel free to cross out that one “friend” you haven’t heard from in years.
The “tricky” cases
Despite the idea that it's your wedding with your personal wishes, crossing people off the wedding guest list can be difficult. Perhaps your family has certain expectations about inviting their cousins or best friends, while you don't really feel connected to these people. Again, remember; it's your day, not your parents' or other relatives'. Still in doubt and don't want to cause a fight? Discuss this with your family members and ask them if they’d be okay if these people are not invited to the wedding. Do they make a really big deal out of it? Then you can always choose to invite these people after all.
Colleagues on your wedding guest list?
Your colleagues, well, you might like them, but you might not. In any case, don't feel obliged to invite colleagues. We recommend that you only ask those who you have a good relationship with and really want to have there. Also, you don't have to invite the partners of your colleagues if you don't want to. Your colleagues know each other and will probably come to the wedding together. Are you only asking one colleague, or are you quite sure that the colleagues you have asked do not like each other? In that case, it would be helpful if these colleagues could bring a +1.
Does your partner want to invite all of their colleagues because they get along well with all of them, or do they feel a certain pressure to invite everyone? Then let it be your partner's choice and stand by your own decision!
Not invited? Avoid hurting people at your wedding
If you have not put every person you can think of on the guest list, there will probably be some people who expected an invitation but didn’t get one. Our advice: be honest! As soon as these people start talking about the wedding, it's best to tell them straight away that they are not invited to avoid awkward situations and hurt feelings. Give them a reason as well; limited space at the venue, the budget, or just a limited number of guests are good reasons.
Are some colleagues disappointed about not getting an invitation because other colleagues received an invitation to your wedding? Explain to them that this is not personal, but that you have to make choices for the wedding guest list. To avoid offending them, you can promise them to bring wedding cake to work, if there’s any left